Meet Lou
by SeGate
Summary: In the early days of the Sweetwater Station, Lou realizes that her mama was right all along. And for once, she's happy about it. A quick read. Please review.


**This is my first story to ever be shared. Should I try for more or stick to reading?**

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There ain't no one who can make it through this world all on their own.

This thought ran through her head at least once a day. Her mama had said it at least as often during her growin' up years. If she closed her eyes and shut out the noises around her, she could hear her mama sayin' it in that soft voice she always used when she was trying to keep her oldest daughter from being so stubborn.

"_Louise McCloud, what am I gonna do with you? The schoolmaster says you been fightin' with the Watson boys again." Her mama stood before her, her thin, calloused hands on her hips._

"_I'm sorry, Mama. But they was pickin' on Johnny Ferguson again. He's too little to defend his self." Louise could still see the fear in Johnny's eyes as the Watson boys chased him around the corner of the schoolhouse._

"_But the Watson boys are all bigger than you." Her mother's voice strained with exasperation. "And aren't there four of them in school now?"_

"_They may be bigger, Mama, but I'm faster and smarter." Louise spoke proudly, "Besides, there were only three of 'em. Willy was sick."_

_She watched as her mother closed her eyes and dropped her head. Louise knew she'd managed to disappoint her mother again. She hadn't wanted to upset her mother, but Johnny had been kind to her. She couldn't leave him to be beaten by the bigger boys, not if she could help him! She knew her mama wanted her to make friends, but Louise had been tired of playing with the girls and their paperdolls. She wanted to make friends too, but sometimes she had too much energy to just play quietly._

"_Louise, honey, you know I worry about you. I just want you to make friends with some of the girls your age. There ain't no one who can make it through this world all on their own." Louise looked into her mother's eyes and saw something she hadn't noticed before. There was a sadness there, not the sadness she had seen when they left her pa. This was deeper._

"_But Mama, I have you and Miah and Teresa. I ain't gonna be alone." She smiled and threw her arms around her mama's thin waist._

Mary Louise McCloud, Mama, had died only three months later. Louise and her siblings had been sent to the orphanage, and eventually, she had run away. Even though her mama had told her otherwise, Louise decided that she would have to try to make it on her own in the world if she ever hoped to eventually have her brother and sister with her again.

Time after time, however, she found that her mother had been right all along. She couldn't make it alone. She found that she did need people. It was one of the hardest things she had to make peace with. Oh, she could roll along keeping to herself for a stretch, but then she would find that she needed to ask for help. She tried to keep most people at arm's length. She was, after all, a woman with secrets. And her biggest secret was just that: she was a woman.

Oh sure, Kid knew, but she had never planned to tell even him. Life was just messy sometimes. Didn't go along with her plans. But Kid had kept her secret safe. And she was grateful. Even though she couldn't be "Louise" with the other riders, she still felt like she could be herself. She could have her say, and they listened to her. She could work hard and have adventures, and no one thought anything about it. Oh Kid tried to coddle her sometimes, but he was mostly unsuccessful. He couldn't say too much without the other boys gettin' curious. And Lou had the feeling he liked being the only one who knew about her.

And as she sat down at the bunkhouse table with all the riders, Emma, and Teaspoon, Lou felt a contentment she hadn't known since childhood. She had found a way in this life. She had a good job, she was needed, and she had made friends. They had only been together a short time, but she was beginning to think of them as a family.

Lou smacked Cody's hand as he tried to steal her biscuit. She smiled and glanced upward, knowing her mama was watching. _You were right, Mama. And I ain't alone anymore._


End file.
